Secrets and Lies are the strings that will tie
by imjust2good
Summary: This is my first fic. Lily has a past that keeps her away from the crazy lifestyle of her friends, but what happens when the 'king of parties' finds out her secret?
1. Default Chapter

Help!! He's stuck!!! Help get him out   
  
Of the bottom of this bottle  
  
He started dating Jack Daniel  
  
When I was no more than a toddler  
  
He thinks he can control the booze  
  
How is CPS to know?  
  
As I sit wishing he would quit  
  
He stays at home plain stoned  
  
Rum and Pepsi are fine companions  
  
For a man with all time and no friends  
  
But for a father, I have to say   
  
It's time for this to end  
  
AA can't help  
  
He's past remission  
  
His kidney's barely there  
  
He probably won't even make it  
  
To see my Hogwart's graduation  
  
If he loves me so  
  
Then why not dump  
  
This abusing love of his  
  
It gives him disease and mind games  
  
I could give him hugs and kisses  
  
Instead of having his name seen at school   
  
Like all my other friends  
  
It's carved into a damn barstool  
  
His mark of eternal fame  
  
But through Smokey pool halls  
  
And the crowded bars  
  
I love him just the same  
  
My heart sees not the error  
  
It is blind to all the sin  
  
But if you look inside his heart   
  
I see the man that lies therein.  
  
It was certainly more than Professor Flugernoff had expected. Lily eyed him nervously as he read the poem. He had   
  
asked for them to write an anonymous poem about their biggest secret and turn it in to the class. Lily could tell it   
  
was hers because of the expression of pity he now had. It was the expression she always got from people when she told   
  
them about her father and his problem with alcohol. She got so much attention for being from a muggle family, the last   
  
thing she needed was more attention drawn to her family. No one knew. Not even Esperanza, her best friend. It was too risky. But, Professor Flugernoff's paper had been the perfect outlet to get the story out and still remain safe. There were several students who were part muggle at the school, so he had no way of tracing her through her muggle references. She had even used a handwriting spell to make it duplicate the handwriting of the Professor. No one would know and she could get it off her chest. Which by the way, was exactly where James Potter was looking at the moment.   
  
"JAMES POTTER!!!!" she yelled, causing everyone to look up, and probably making it look like she had Turret's Syndrome  
  
"Miss Evans!! Please refrain from yelling across the room" Professor Flugernoff pleaded " we don't ALL need to hear you"  
  
Snape chuckled. " Looks like Evans has lost her mind. Pity, most Muggles wait until their twenties to go nutty!!"  
  
James pointed his wand at Snape, whose hair turned a bright pink. Everyone laughed. Except the Professor, and of course Snape who was trying to fit his hair into a cap that he had pulled out of his bag.   
  
"Who did this?" Flugernoff yelled over the room's laughter.   
  
" I did" proclaimed Potter "and I am proud to say that I did!" He flashed the most flirtatious smile he could muster at Lily. Lily simply glared back.   
  
"Fine" Flugernoff rubbed his head like he had a headache and sighed, " I guess its detention…again"  
  
"All Right!!!" exclaimed Sirius, James' best friend "I won't be bored now and we can talk about that…umm that Potions project!" he winked. Almost all the girls hung on his every word. Except of course Lily. Sirius was 6'2 with a strong, athletic build and shiny black hair. Almost all the girls in the room would sleep with him at the drop of a hat. In fact, most of them had.   
  
"No Mr. Black, you will both be helping me sort these papers… without magic" he motioned to the giant stack on his desk  
  
The boys groaned as the class let out.  
  
{*{*{^*^*^{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{^*^*^{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{^{*{*{^*^*^{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{^*^*^{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{^  
  
"I know!!!" Sirius exclaimed as they walked to Potions. "We can see what people wrote for their poems!!!"  
  
"NO!!!" yelled Lily as she passed  
  
"Why, Evans, something you don't want us to know?"  
  
Lily paused. They won't be able to tell it's mine. After that charm, they can only link it to Hogwarts, a History since that's whose handwriting I took. If I tell them yes, they'll find out about my secret. I f I tell them no then they won't.   
  
"No, I just think that is against people's rights to privacy, don't you?" she spat out.  
  
"We" Sirius laughed "are the MAURDERS. Privacy is not our forte."  
  
Lily gave a weak laugh and walked on.  
  
"And the best part" Sirius whispered to the other Maurders "is I know how to break those stupid handwriting spells!!!"  
  
{*{*{^*^*^{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{^*^*^{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{^{*{*{^*^*^{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{^*^*^{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{^  
  
Dearest Lily,   
  
I know that your father has not been sober lately, but I beg of you. Please come home  
  
and go to a University here. He gets worse and worse every day and I need you here for support.  
  
Mom is to scared to stand up to him, and I am to weak. I NEED you Lily. I need your strong spirit   
  
and wit. You brighten this house every time you come home. Leave the wizard world and return to your   
  
family. Where you are needed. I am beginning to resent that world. It has taken you away from me.   
  
I cannot see past that. Please prove my guesses wrong and come home.  
  
  
  
All my love,  
  
Petunia  
  
P.S. I met a guy!!! His name is Vernon and although he's not much for looks or personality,  
  
he might be the one to get me out of this house!! Plus I talked to his family and they are-  
  
"…so FUCKING hott!!"   
  
"What?!!" Lily asked. She remembered that Esperanza was across the table and laughed  
  
"I said Remus is so fucking hott. God, Lily. Don't you ever listen?"   
  
"Sorry, Es, I was just reading something."  
  
" Whatever…do you think I have a chance with him?"   
  
Lily looked at her friend. She had the perfect hour glass figure, with a creamy toffee colored skin, Her blue eyes stood out like two jewels in her round face. Her ebony hair hung down to her boobs and shined like girls in commercials. She looked like a model, with an exotic flare. The one thing she lacked, confidence. Lily had helped her overcome her bulimia a year ago, and she was getting better, but in her condition, the last thing she needed was a letdown.   
  
"Yeah, but I think you could do better" She made a mental note to ask Peter later. He was the easiest of the boys to get info out of.  
  
"Ha, good one" Es replied.   
  
{*{*{^*^*^{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{^*^*^{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{^  
  
"THEY'RE OVER!!!!!FINALLY OVER!!!" James yelled as they walked out of their semester exams the next day. "Finally we can take a break. By the way, anyone staying with me over the Christmas holidays"  
  
Lily's heart dropped. What? He's staying? And I have to stay with him in the headmaster dorm? Man this is gonna suck. Oh well, it's better to have a drunk James around then a drunk Dad.   
  
"See you at detention, Padfoot!!" He yelled, not noticing that Lily's face had turned from hate, to anxiety. She had NO idea how justified that anxiety was.  
  
  
  
Yeah Done!!!!!!! Please review and tell me what you think!!!!! I know that y'all hate to take the time to review but since this IS my first FanFic, I need the advice. Suggestions, criticism, praises (hahaha) whatever you want. Here's the thing. If I really like your review and you keep doing it, maybe you'll see yourself as a character!!!! J Peace, Love and a Starbucks Orange Mocha Frappucino hold the whip. 


	2. Inside the mind of a 'player'

Chappie 2  
  
James hated the game. Here he was, a responsible straight A virgin,   
  
who admitingly had his fun, but within his morals. See, James was the  
  
male equivalent of the school 'slut' in a way. Sure, he had gone out with   
  
a lot of girls, looking for a drug to drown his unanswered love, no LUST he   
  
assured himself. It was only lust. For Lily. He always went on one date and   
  
then left, giving him the appearance of a player and one-night stander. The girls  
  
always came and when he resisted their advances, they went back to their dorms   
  
embarrassed. They would make up stories about their relationships with him to cover  
  
it up. God, they would think. People would think I was a real dog if James Potter  
  
wouldn't sleep with me. So, he became known as the guy who slept around. An image   
  
he wanted to break. He really did, but at the same time, the guys congratulated him   
  
with every new date and the 'outcome'. He already had a miserable love life, why risk  
  
his friendships also?  
  
{*{*{^*^*^{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{^*^*^{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{^  
  
James opened the door to his detention in anticipation of some entertainment.   
  
Flugernoff had left them alone to do the papers. They quickly turned to the   
  
juiciest essays. The ones on their biggest secret. Sirius quickly muttered the   
  
identification spell that filter through fake handwriting. They ran through them,   
  
agreeing not to look at each others'. Most of them were stupid until they came across  
  
one near the end.   
  
"Listen to this" Sirius yelled   
  
"Rum and Pepsi are fine companions  
  
For a man with all time and no friends  
  
But for a father, I have to say   
  
It's time for this to end"  
  
"Damn!" James exclaimed. "Rum, that's like butterbeer right?"  
  
Sirius turned pale. " Dude, it's your girlfriend's. This'll get you in all kinds of shit."  
  
James looked. The name on the paper was none other than that fiery red head he would   
  
be spending an entire break with.  
  
{*{*{^*^*^{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{^*^*^{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{*^*^*^*{*{*{^  
  
"Ok" Lily exclaimed. "It looks like we both have to put up with each other over  
  
the break. So, here are my rules. No sex in here. I don't want to here you   
  
screwing some girl from the other room. No parties and NO beer. Got me?"  
  
"I have no friends that didn't go on holiday. I won't be having sex with anyone  
  
here, unless she is the Headgirl. I gave up beer"  
  
"Why?"  
  
" It's bad for you"  
  
" You read it, didn't you?" she asked looking down.  
  
"Your secret? No. I didn't stop drinking because of your fath-" he stopped. He now   
  
realized what he had said. You Idiot!!!! Now you've fucked things up.   
  
He could see the tears in Lily's eyes. She didn't yell. She didn't glare. She just  
  
sat there and cried. It was the worst torture in the world. "Lily, I didn't mean   
  
to hurt you" he said, holding back a tear of his own "I would never do that"  
  
" That's it isn't it Potter. Just You and those you directly care about. No one   
  
else matters. No one else is worth your love, your kindness your discretion."   
  
She said numbly. It was then that he realized. She was right. Here he sat. Sad   
  
that she had found out about the essay. Sad that she was not impressed by when   
  
she picked on her attackers and critics. He should have been upset with himself   
  
the whole time. For reading the essays. For doing the pranks. He was no better   
  
than Snape. Hurting others for his own good? No better than Voldermort.  
  
He knew what he had to do. He was already planning his trip to the muggle world.   
  
If he couldn't woo her, he would help her.   
  
  
  
I KNOW it's short, but I thought I needed some more reviews. Here is my bargain.   
  
When I get 6 reviews I'll put up 3. Can you do that for me? I know you can.   
  
I trust you guys :)  
  
If we all die to live again, why aren't funerals more like birthdays? 


	3. Vacation

REALLY SORRY!! I had to do like a million projects for school and my laptop broke for a while   
  
BIG MESS thanks you guys here it is :)  
  
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Chapter 3  
  
"You were just to busy with yourself  
  
You were never there for me  
  
To express how I felt  
  
I just stuffed it down  
  
Now I'm older and I feel like  
  
I could let some of this anger fade  
  
But it seems the surface I am scratching  
  
Is the bed that I have made  
  
I never meant to fade...  
  
Away"  
  
-Staind Fade  
  
It felt like she had popped a pimple. Not one of those little ones that make your face bumpy,  
  
the kind that hurt and felt like a mini volcano. Not that she knew about pimples, Lily had the most beautiful and  
  
blemish free faces ever. The kind that should be on Phisoderm comercials and make you feel bad about yourself...but where was I  
  
Oh yes!!!! James had just discovered Lily's secret.   
  
"Oh Es!!! Now I have to spend a whole month with Potter. He isn't going anywhere for break so we'll be stuck together"  
  
"Maybe it's for the best, I mean... you can work through the problem" Es' eyes were full of understanding and love for her friend.  
  
"NO!! WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!! IT'S GONNA BE A FUCKING MISERABLE BREAK IF HE'S HERE!!!"  
  
She had NO idea how wrong she was.  
  
It's been said that silence is the loudest and most painful sound of all. For Lily it was   
  
true. James had left for the break after all.Leaving Lily alone to think about her family,   
  
her friends and what they would be after James as a catalyst. Not fun thoughts   
  
She needed to move. She needed to get out and do something. Stop thinking before her mind exploded  
  
She got up off her bed and headed for the door, wearing a Starsky and Hutch tee with her sexy jean cutoffs (A/N:70's right?)  
  
She wasn't afraid to dress like that, but she felt like she needed a wholesome image if she was to be percieved as a wholesome  
  
*cough*prude*cough girl. She didn't want to be approached by guys and booze, both had let her down. She put on her robe and made her way  
  
down to the kitchen. The elves always gave her a bite to eat and she enjoyed talking to them. When she went down and ate, she noticed  
  
a large shadow in front of her (the person was behind her) much to big to be an elf. But who...?  
  
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Lily sat in her room stunned. She had been in the middle of eating her autumn salad, mixed greens with pork, walnuts and raisins  
  
when who had she seen, but Dumbledore!!! ( A/N You thought it was he who shall not be named huh?) It had been great to have someone to  
  
talk to. Put thoughts other than her own in her head again. When she talked to him, she always found comfort and stability, like he  
  
was her grandpa or something, but today he looked tired and forlorn. He had confided in Lily that Lord Voldermort's men were growing and   
  
becoming more and more rash. There had been car bombings and threats sent to the Ministry over licences given to those with muggle blood  
  
Images of Hitler flew into Lil's head and his "purging" If Voldermort was a Hitler with magic there was no end to the evil he could do  
  
Now as Lily thought about it tears streamed down her face. She felt like she had a giant birthmark on her face, a brand that no spell could  
  
undo, that made people want her blood  
  
"I won't let them take me!" she cried to the friend who wasn't there. "They may break my body, or my home. But never my soul, never my courage"  
  
That was before Lily knew anything about who she was to become. Who she was destined to create.  
  
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"I love Christmas" Lily whispered as she tiptoed out of bed down to the tree in the common room. When she reached it she was completely taken aback  
  
there was not one present from her family under the tree. There were 4. She opened the first, it was a Pensive from Dumbledore   
  
"To get some things off your mind" his warm card had said. The second was a beautiful green dress from her mom and "sister" even though it was quite obvious  
  
that her sister had nothing to do with it. The dress was a dark green that was a stretchy material, with long sleeves and a large dipping neck that came into a V.   
  
This came with a pair of dainty glass heels that were a saphire tint with tiny jewels inside the shoes. The third was a ring from her dad, probably stolen, she thought   
  
bitterly, considering the fact that she was wearing an old womans ring that was stolen late at night. She shuddered and opened the third. The fourth was gorgeous. It was  
  
a necklace that had a giant saphire, around which magically danced tiny diamonds. But who was it from? She opened the card.   
  
To hurt someone as fair and pure as you is a   
  
sin above all sins that cannot simply be solved  
  
by this gift, but I hope that this will brighten   
  
your day in some way. You are a light Lily, in the   
  
darkness. You deserve more than I can ever give.   
  
Please accept this. No strings.   
  
Love more than you know,   
  
James  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%^^^^^^^^^^  
  
"Where were you? study group?" Lily asked, sarcasm dripping from every syllable, trying to forget the gift.   
  
James, who had just walked in, sighed. Lily hated it. She hated him. He was everything she couldn't have, Was afraid to take the chance on. And,  
  
she thought, was just like her father.  
  
"I do believe, Evans, that I have the right to go to my room right now and gather my thoughts, fair?"  
  
She hated it when he made sense.  
  
"Fine but take a shower. I don't want the couch to get beer and God knows what stains in this room"  
  
James laughed, but Lily thought she saw something glisten in James' eye. Maybe he deserved the chance. Maybe she would finally  
  
stop looking over the edge and jump. She shook her head. The vacation sure had made her nutty.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^%%%%%%%%%%%%%^^^^^^^^^%%%%%%%%%%%%  
  
" So, d'ya screw 'em" Sirius asked Lily during potions  
  
"Do I look like I'm falling apart from all the STD's I'd get?" was her reply. She smiled. If Sirius wanted to be frank, she would too.  
  
"So, where'd y'all go over the break. What poor pubs and clubs were graced with your presense of the holly?" asked Lily, changing the subject  
  
"Are you nuts Evans? I was with the 'rents, Moody was at...well a meeting, Peter is damn annoying, and Potter was here" he replied "where would we have gone?"  
  
"Well, I hope you know, I will find out where y'all were, and how y'all escaped those allibies. Good day" she said primly as the bell rang.   
  
"Well you chose an essentric one, I'll give you that" Sirius yelled across the room at James  
  
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Please DONT hate me. Computer crashed and I lost this chapter, so I had to write a short version. But chapter 4 will be worth it. Thank you to all 15 people that reviewed. I will   
  
rewrite your thank you and stick it at the begining of 4 so I can post this  
  
Chow. Hey, send me the name of your worst teacher. I'm gonna put one in the story. Oh yeah and a little about yourself if you want to appear in the story :) 


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